Earlier this year I picked up Tucker Max’s latest book, Assholes Finish First. If you know anything about Tucker, he’s always getting himself into crazy situations with women. My life, by comparison, regularly tends to plunge down a similar path of male debauchery. I would be lying if I said that Tucker and his stories didn’t have a huge influence on my current lifestyle and the brilliant poor choices I’ve made up to this point. Hell, I’m enjoying the ride too.
(Note: If you don’t know who Tucker Max is, then what the fuck are you doing here anyway?)
In his book, Tucker talks about meeting his fans and all the free ass he’d gotten after publishing his first book. I had always wondered what groupie sex would be like. I mean, what good is fame and reputation if you can’t get some action out of it… right?
That opportunity came sooner than I would have ever thought.
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Occurred — November 2011
“Another blog comment. Hmm… a girl claiming she once found me on OkCupid? Interesting…”
I yawned loudly, raising my arms into the air to stretch out.
“That’s definitely not something you hear every day.”
To post a comment on most blogs, you have to supply an email along with your name.
Contacting her easy.
Me: “Now you have me wondering. Was it something I said? How did you figure it out?”
Her: “Honestly, it’s just dumb luck that I figured it out and I don’t think anyone else would be able to… sorry if I freaked you out. I happened to visit your website that same night and you mentioned something about me on Twitter and it was on the sidebar. What can I say, I’m memorable like that.”
Then, it was just a matter of convincing her to send me a picture and setting up the date. Since I get a lot of spam and phishing emails as it is, I was a bit cautious.
We made tentative plans to meet that next Wednesday. Her pictures and self-description made her out to be this cute, petite, Asian nympho.
Some texts from her:
“Sure… check your email in a few minutes. Let me know what you think and if you want other pics (no, you don’t get dirty ones… yet).”
“Oh I don’t think you’re all talk… not at all… I just know *I* want it all the time, every which way.”
I couldn’t have been any more right.
That particular week I had three girls in the pipeline, but the nympho was my best prospect. One of the girls was very cute and entirely too high maintenance — but I was probably one date away from the bang. Another girl I’d had a brief encounter with during Halloween (future epic story to come).
Fast forward to Saturday night — I was drinking in downtown DC with a couple of friends who were about to leave for another part of town. The high maintenance chick had disappeared/flaked out so I wrote her off — a week of radio silence as punishment. The Halloween girl was at McFaddens, which if you’re not from DC, is one of the lamest (and cheapest) 21-year-old cesspool bars in town. I let her know I wasn’t interested in the scene and put her on standby.
That night we had pre-gamed pretty hard and my body needed to come down a bit. I ordered water with lemon at the bar and got to people watching.
Geez, so many fat chicks getting attention from decent looking skinny guys.
I was disgusted.
I spent the next hour or so playing logistics with the nympho. In that time I only approached two girls — a shame because I was getting looks all night. It was taking way too long and I started getting irritated. Here’s how the text exchange played out…
Me: “We’re in [part of town].”
Her: “K will likely leave here fairly soon… I’ll stop and say hi if you’re still around.
Me: “There’s a small line.”
Her: “Where are you?”
Me: “[Bar]“
Her: “K heading there now be there in a bit… shit, just realized that’s not far from a nice office I have a key to… except I forgot the key.”
That could have been fun…
Me: “Bad news… I have a back up plan and I’m upstairs.” (no idea what I meant)
Her: “Ok.”
Her: “K I’m here anyway making some new friends.”
Her: “No worries.”
Me: “I’m in the back bar first floor.”
Me: “Still making friends? I’m back upstairs.”
I couldn’t find this chick, and I couldn’t tell if she was even looking for me. What a clusterfuck.
Me: “Get your ass up here”
Her: “hey still making friends here…”
Me: “Oh ok I assumed “here” was somewhere else.”
In my drunken stupor, I began thinking she was now still at the birthday party, or conning me…
Her: “?”
I was furious and took off towards my car… along the way I tried to make plans with Hot Mess.
The nympho texted me again though.
Her: “I’m at [Bar]“
Me: “Well I’m a block away now. It’s cool go make friends.”
Her: “Ok no worries I’d love to say hi though.”
I realized what an idiot I was and started heading back to the bar.
Me: “Ok come outside then.”
Her: “I’m next door.”
Me: “The strip club?”
Her: “Yeah I had to use the bathroom and didn’t want to wait in line and hey, no line for the ladies room here.”
Her: “Outside”
I pulled out my phone to call her and there she was. Short and petite, wearing a dress and four-inch heels. The girl definitely knew what my brand of sexy was. She had that booty you could bounce a dime off of. That ass defied all logic.
We walked over and waited in line to get into the same bar I’d just left a few minutes ago. The anger I’d felt before had been replaced by my regular cool vibe. The beast had retreated back into its cave.
Once we were upstairs I bought us the first round. She couldn’t keep her hands off me.
Easy tiger.
We got to talking about the events of our respective nights out, but the flirting and escalating was on hyper-drive. She bought the second round. While we waited for the drinks she was busy feeling me up and down; her ass facing me. I reached around and massaged her crotch. Yep, that was the only button that needed pressing.
Quicker than I could say “down my pants”, she was doing just that. The only person who seemed to realize what was going on was a server to the left at the end of the bar. She seemed to be enjoying the show, so we gave her one.
Her: “I knew you were a sure thing.”
Me: “Hahaha. Moi?”
Her: “Yeah I wasn’t sure what to expect.”
Me: “Right… sure you didn’t. You’ve read my blog… it was me who was unsure.”
Her: “You really thought I was a dude or something?”
Me: “I’ve seen it all. Ready to get out of here?”
Her: “Thought you’d never ask.”
As we made our way up the street… I realized I had misplaced my car. The area that I normally park on was pretty basic. There were only a few street blocks that would have been practical for parking anyway, so I was surprised when we got to the end and it was nowhere to be found.
Me: “Yeah uh… no idea where my car is. Let’s get in a cab.”
Not even 10 seconds later I managed to flag one down (for those of you who aren’t familiar with DC, it can be ridiculously tough after 1am). I grabbed my wallet. No cash. Fuck! Credit card missing. Fuck!!! I was in a hurry and must have left it at the bar… again.
Me: “Do you have any cash on you?”
Her: “Yeah.”
Me: “Cool. Get in.”
My hands were already up inside her before the driver could hit the gas pedal. I’m sure I caught him glancing back a few times in the mirror too.
Yeah that’s right you pervert, all over your back seat.
I made us drinks after we got back to my place, but before we had a chance to start she was already ushering me upstairs to my room. Never have I had a girl wanting my dick that bad on the first date. I laughed out loud.
We had sex nearly a dozen times throughout the night and the following morning. Anal? Yeah, she wanted it bad. Since I’d been having some roommate drama lately I was trying to keep the noise down. That meant covering that pie hole of hers from moaning and screaming. Sucking my fingers sufficed. The constant queefs however, could not be contained. I didn’t mind. That ass was bouncing all over the place.
You never know with women, but from what I could tell we both came half a dozen times (more for me I’m sure). She was a freak and I liked it. That was until she tried to stick a finger up my butt (apparently an accident).
“Whoa!”
A very quick end to that experiment. The sheets would probably have to be burned. She called it “light flow.” Whatever, all I knew was there were a mixture of fluids that I couldn’t tell apart. I wasn’t going to let it ruin my night though. We banged again and again before we passed out. Nope, not done yet. She woke me up fondling my dick. Alright, here we go again. Done. Sleep.
Later in the night (time unknown) I woke up to a blowjob. This bitch’s appetite was nearly as insatiable as mine. Another round. Back to sleep. No more, my body can’t take it.
In the morning we’d bang it out a few more times before we walked to the metro. I got off a stop early. It was time to track down my car and credit card and figure out what to do with my raw-dicked self the rest of the day.
I love my life.
(Just shut up and ignore the beta lyrics…)
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29 Responses to My First Groupie – The Asian Nympho
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- HEY guess what, even those skout whores are just... well, whores.
- Bartender taking cab to my place. Seriously playing bang tang later mang game tonight. 3 other girls in the real running. Hit and cab her?
People ask me why I blog. My answer: For the bitches and the cheese, mothafucka.
I’m planning a more in-depth post on this, but I think the male blogosphere owes tucker max a lot more than it realizes. For me at least, I found his website at a very anti-intellectual phase of my life. Fuck books! I’m just going to play sports, bang bitches, and party! That was more or less the identity I had decided on for myself at the age of 19.
Tucker Max embodied all of that, but with an underlying pro-intellectual message. His stories about blackout drunk anal sex with whores gone awry are sprinkled with high-brow literary references, and the common theme of his replies to his many admirers when they asked, “How did you get so awesome?” was “I studied great men, and asked myself what I could do to be like them.”
One quote from some throwaway post on his old forum, not sure if it was original to Max, that has stuck with me over the years: Humans have been living, dealing the same problems problems over and over again, and writing what they learned down for thousands of years. Whatever you’re going through, chances are someone else has gone through it before, and figured out a solution.
Yeah I realized that when people were telling me they didn’t give a shit about my Manosphere posts. My audience is obviously a little different from the rest of the game writers. They want stories? I’ll give em stories.
Looking forward to your post.
I was with a lil Asian shorty just like that – multiple rounds in the same night – she said I broke her.
Righteous Gmac, gotta love the asians, especially the ones that love to get their freak on, kudos.
Hold up you smashed a chick who read your blog? and blogged about it? knowing she may be reading it?
WINNING!
Who do you think tried to correct me on the “accident?”
So now the question is are you gonna smash her again? LMAFO
What do you think? Of course.
I am honestly amazed at how many times you had sex in one night. You came each time? I dont think Ive ever been able to do what you did.
I was surprised too, considering I was drunk half of the night.
Banging blog groupies:
That’s how roissy got exposed.
How much do you value privacy, gmac? Do you trust these broads?
Does any player ever completely trust a woman?
What made Roissy worry about it was all his anti-feminism and other non PC posts, anti-immigration etc. That can be a job problem. Gmac doesn’t have the same issues. Well depending on his employer I guess.
Definitely helps with girls and friends. Well as long as he isn’t pretending to be exclusive with any one girl.
Great story. I’ve never read any of Tucker Max’ material although I’m aware of who he is and the gist of his adventures. I think I need to do some research.
He has a third book coming out early next year. Personally, I enjoyed the first the most… but there are a few really good stories in #2.
His web site has about half the stories that are in his first book. You will find out whether you like him and his stories from there. He most definitely plays asshole alpha. Semi famous asshole alpha. Well he seems to be more than semi-famous on college campuses which is where he focuses his book tours.
Shit, blog groupies? I’ve got to be a little less anonymous. Sounds like an awesome night. And I agree the little Asian shorties will hurt you but in a good way…
Bar has to be ozio’s. next to the strip club and lots of hot asian girls go there
That was some impressive amount of banging son. Daaaaammmn. She’ll be back.
I wonder what her partner count is!!! Not that I’m knocking it for casual sex purposes. She sure didn’t sound jaded or hard, just damn hungry. Fun times.
She claims to be pretty selective. Hungry for sure. Yeah there was a part deux.
Tucker’s first book was tons of fun. Enough stuff that wasn’t also on his web site to make it fun. That’s a good marketing strategy.
I was sorry to see his film flop. It flopped so bad I didn’t go see it. I was pretty sure his pick for lead actor was all wrong, and told him so at his blog when he first named him, but he wasn’t having it.
You should watch the film. Not the greatest film, but pretty good. It doesn’t have a strong plot like a traditional movie, but is a fun ride. It is kinda like an extended episode of two and a half men (with charlie sheen).
I enjoyed the movie. It was no where as good as the book’s stories, especially packed into 1 1/2 hours… but it was entertaining. Think “The Hangover” on Ambien.
[...] Gmac is not letting up for MVP, now smashing groupies lol [...]
Looks I shouldn’t worry about posting videos and pictures of girls now, haha. Epic!
I read this Asian post by Gmac last week and then the Asian post by Taoofdirt yesterday and wow Asian girls sound like a lot of fun. I now really want to find an Asian girl like they did the sooner the better.
You don’t have to answer this, but I often wonder why this blog is called Hokieblogger and not Gmac. My guess is you went to VT. Also, I wonder why you have female roommates and not other guys (but it sounds like an interesting situation, as I too am considering eventually renting an apartment with female(s) for some side action with them or their friends. This post is making me think about if I start a blog if I should maintain privacy or be more open like Gmac because the opportunity you got would make it worth it.
Well geeze… this has me contemplating semi anonymity.
Good work man
“I like guys who praise traditional values even though my actions contradict those values because I sleep with men who have no interest in living these values either.”
Asian’s girl explanation of why she fucked GMAC makes no sense, but who cares?
More interesting is her claim of a low partner count. A lot of bitter betas like to claim that us players only bang whores, but most of the women we bang will say, like asian nympho, that they don’t bang a lot of guys.
So, are the girls lying, or are us successful players hogging the most of a limited reasource?
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